I softly kept my hands on her. She was shocked and stood up. She didn’t say a word but kept strain at me. The silence was making the air horny. We were strain at each other and I knew that it was the right time. I was sitting on the sofa and she was standing in front. I wrapped my arms around her hip and brought her close to me. I removed the saree and exposed her navel. It was as big as a one rupee coin and equally fleshy. I planted a kiss on it and looked at her. She was silent and was breathing very heavily. I understood that she was hungry too. I pulled down the anchal and now she was standing before me with her tight blouse trying to hide her melons and her nude belly, all at my mercy. I stood up pounced on her. I was holding her tight against the wall and started kissing her. Her eyes, her neck, her cleavage, her melons and her belly. Suddenly I felt her hand holding my hair and pulling me up to her lips. I kissed her lips and she opened her mouth to take my tongue. We started. Napolean sent me these audio interviews called “David DeAngelo’s Interviews With Dating Gurus,” so I uploaded them onto my Ipod and played a few during my drives to work, which was better than listening to the Black Eyed Peas-infested radio. With the exception of a handful of interviewees, every “dating guru” sounded like a total dork, including David DeAngelo (who claims that one time he put an “L” on his forehead and mouthed the words “loser” to a girl, and she found him attractive). What gave these guys “expert” status made no sense to me. I will admit, however, that there was some interesting stuff on there. One of the gurus described a tactic in which he’d program his phone number under the name “Sex God” into girls’ phones. Though it’d been over a year since I heard that particular interview, while talking with a hefty 31-year-old blonde at Woody’s, I applied the technique hoping all that time spent in the car listening to these hopeless bozos would yield some results. Her name.
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